Fights
by Tweek Tweekers
Summary: Craig reminiscing some of his fights he's had throughout his school years.


"Craig, you need to stop fighting, M'Kay?" asked Mr. Mackey.

Craig had managed to get into another school fight with one of his fellow classmates. This time he got into a fight with Stan Marsh and of course he was the one to throw the first hit resulting in him getting sent to the guidance counselors office again. Not that he cared, he had his own chair.

Supposedly Stan Marsh was saying some pretty crude things about Craig behind his back such as calling him a 'faggot', a 'homo', a 'cocksucker'. Also rumor has it Stan started the rumor about Craig fantasizing about Tweek and supposedly getting a boner during gym class because he saw Tweek all sweaty.

Overall Craig doesn't question many things. He isn't one for intellectual strategy, he just follows his instincts and reacts without a second thought. So it obviously didn't take him much brain power to come to the final decision that he was going to kick Stan's ass.

He's known for his bad ass reputation and his 'I don't care about anything' attitude. Therefore he doesn't care if he gets in trouble, he doesn't care if he gets a detention, he doesn't care if he's suspended and he doesn't care if he's expelled. He just doesn't care.

He didn't think about the consequences because he just doesn't care. So on the playground he went right up to Stan, not bothering to talk or clear the situation up without violence, what fun would that be? Craig just went right up to him threw one forceful punch right across Stan's face. Everyone then gathered around expecting a huge fight but all Stan did was try and cuss Craig out, while Craig eventually tackled him to the ground throwing fierce and sharp punches, one by one. Each one leaving a dark mark.

Before Craig could finish pounding Stan's face in he was pulled back by Mr. Mackey and Mr. Garrison. He was dragged to the guidance office and Mr. Mackey gave him a huge lector on how to behave and solve things with words instead of physical violence.

Craig yawned and flipped Mr. Mackey off. "Huh?! Did you just flip me off?!" yelled Mr. Mackey. The same thing happened every time Craig went to guidance. Mr. Mackey would lector him, he'd flip him off, Mr. Mackey would spaz out, he'd call Craig's parents, his parents wouldn't care, then he'd return to class like none of it happened.

"No." his voice bored, nasally and flat.

"Well M'Kay… as I was saying-" Craig flipped him off again and looked away bored, "Hey! You did it again!"

"No I didn't." he responded dully.

"Well until you learn to behave you can wait in the hallway! M'Kay!" shouted Mr. Mackey getting aggravated.

"Alright." he shrugged and hopped of the chair leaving the room as if he hadn't even gotten in trouble.

He sat on his chair not in any rush to return to class and learn about fractions. He sat silently and realized it was the last week of his senior year in high school. This was his last week at South Park High and he just realized he spent most of his time in this chair due to the hundreds of fights he's gotten into. He's fought Cartman, Kyle, Stan, Kenny, Clyde, Token, Tweek, Dogpoo, Butters, Pip, Damien, The Goth Kids, Ike and when he was younger he fought the older sixth graders, and won every single fight he's ever been in.

He reminisced his fights and felt a smirk form. He could remember his very first fight, the one fight that caused him to become addicted to fighting. He loved the adrenaline rush, the power and the satisfaction it gave him. He liked fighting. He especially liked winning.

Craig thought back to his very first fight with Tweek.

Everyone was cheering and shouting for Tweek and himself. They didn't care who won at all, they just wanted to see a sick throw down. Craig had never fought anyone in his life. Ever. He looked around bored and tired, "What do we do?"

The boys seemed annoyed and told them to fight and punch and push each other, so Tweek slapped Craig lightly and Craig did the same, then they looked back at the crowd confused. They got annoyed and Cartman went to teach Craig how to fight. He taught him how to sumo wrestle.

Then they fought. Hitting, smacking, punching, kicking, simple stuff that Craig finds pretty pathetic now. Not to mention he was only 45 pounds back then, he's jacked now. He chuckled remembering how both him and Tweek ended up in the hospital and still fought. Then he won. He won because Tweek had a spaz because he wanted coffee. He won though. He always wins.

Craig smirked. Then he started to remember his fight with the fatass. He started to grin remembering the crying and shrieking of the stupid asshole.

By the sixth grade Craig was an experience and well taught fighter. So when Cartman said some shit about Stripe he lost it. He dove across the lunch table and smashed Cartman and his flub onto the ground. It jiggled. Nasty.

He remembered how Cartman shrieked out and cussed at him trying to shove him off him while he squirmed on the floor. Craig just punched repeatedly in the his chest. He felt like his hands were just sinking into his fat, so he grabbed a pizza off of the tray and shoved it into Cartman's mouth, "I hope you choke, fatass." he muttered angrily.

That was a pretty funny fight. Craig chuckled to himself.

He then remembered fighting Kyle, Stan and Kenny at once. Him and Stan of course got into a verbal fight about something stupid. Craig thought about it for a minute, "Wendy." he said simply. The fight was about Wendy because she started flirting with him during the summer before eighth grade.

Stan met him at the playground and started to flip out at him. Craig just shrugged and flipped them off. Then all of a sudden all three of the boys jumped Craig. Craig was actually surprised not ever fighting more than one person at once but he wasn't going to just let them beat him.

He grabbed Kyle's hat, pulled it over the jew's eyes, so he couldn't see anything. He then shoved him into Stan so the fell onto the ground. Craig punched Kenny square in the face and pushed him into the street. And to no surprise a bus drove by and killed the blonde boy.

Craig remembers Stan and Kyle gasping and saying, "Oh my god! Craig killed Kenny!" then Kyle shouting, "You Bastard."

They ran at him and Kyle grabbed him and Stan started punching him hard. Craig was now officially pissed. He threw Kyle over his back and at Stan. They fell to the ground in pain and then Craig took a cheap shot at Stan and kicked him right in the nuts, "Dicks." he muttered and began to walk away, slowly and all cool like.

Then when Stan cussed at him, he just responded by giving him the middle finger. He also found out later that week that he broke Kyle's arm by tossing him onto the hard ground. Craig was pleased.

Craig even fought the devil's son and won. He was walking down the street and saw Pip and Damien hand in hand. He then heard Pip say, "Oh Damien, your so anal sometimes." they both chuckled but think about the wording, Craig had to comment, "I bet he takes it that way too."

Damien was mad and wanted to fight Craig and Craig never backed down from a challenge. Damien was supposedly summoning demons from hell but Craig just flipped him off and grabbed Damien's shirt collar. He pushed him against a brick building and went to punch him but he faded away and punched the wall again. His knuckles were bleeding and he was pissed.

Craig hissed at the pain and whipped around grabbed Pip in a choke lock, "Come fight fag."

Pip squeaked and whined nervously. Then Damien came from no where and punched Craig in the face, Pinned him to the ground and started to mutter some stupid demon curse. Craig took the chance to head butt Damien. Knock him off him, pin him down and spit in his face. He laughed harshly as Damien growled. He then punched him a few times until he disappeared. He ran to hell to tell his daddy, what a pussy. Not to mention they were sophomores then and he still wimped out. "Son-of-the-devil my ass more like son-of-a-goddamn-fairy-bitch."

Craig leaned back in his chair and couldn't help but smile remembering all the fights perfectly. "Hey dude, what's up?" asked Clyde as he sat beside his blue capped friend.

Craig looked over at him, "Nothing."

"Why you smiling then?" Clyde questioned.

"Just reminiscing." he replied. Then after a moment of silence Craig asked his brunette friend, "Remember our fight?"

"Huh?" is all Clyde muttered out in response.

Craig thought about it. Back during freshman year he fought his best friend Clyde. He fought him because Clyde kept bragging about his girlfriends and Craig didn't care. So one day he told Clyde to shut up while he was getting a drink at the water fountain and Clyde said, "Your just jealous no girl wants to suck your two inch dick."

Normally Craig didn't care if Clyde called made fun of him because that's what friends do but he was just so sick of his stuck up attitude. He had to teach him a lesson, so Craig stood up and spit the water in Clyde's face. Clyde whined and hissed at Craig. Then out of no where Craig threw a punch at Clyde bashing his head and tossing him back a few feet. Craig even remembers smirking because it felt so good.

"Remember, at the water fountain?" said Craig still monotone.

"Oh you mean when you randomly punched me in the face?" asked Clyde.

Craig shot him a glare. "I kicked your ass."

"Yeah right if we fought right now I'd kill you." he replied smugly.

"Really?" asked Craig and before Clyde could blink he was rolling on the ground trying to block his face from Craig's repeated and fast face shots.

Craig groaned angrily and smashed Clyde down finally taking dominance. Clyde hit his head hard and whined. "Craig stop!"

Craig punched him again and again and again and again. Clyde then screamed, "STOP!"

Craig froze for a minute, "Beg for mercy."

"No way dude!"

"Beg now." Craig said sharply.

There was a silence then Craig beat Clyde each punch blowing harder than the other. Clyde then started to cry, "I give up!"

He begged and begged for Craig to stop and he eventually did. "Thought you said you'd beat me?" asked Craig giving Clyde a victorious smirk while Clyde just glared back at him.

"Craig Tucker! No more fighting! M'Kay!" shouted Mr. Mackey, "This is your second time beating up Clyde, M'Kay."

"So?"

"So! It's wrong! No more fighting this week! You've already beat up every boy in the school! No more fighting."

Craig shrugged, "I haven't beaten you up yet."

"Ok Craig, M'Kay. You need to stop…wait what?" he asked noticing a questionable smirk on Craig's face.

Before anyone could do anything Craig punched Mr. Mackey.

Fighting was something Craig couldn't control but it sure as hell was fun.

Then again he was expelled a week before graduation, good thing he doesn't give a shit.

* * *

Some random story I made, it kind of sucks but I don't care. I didn't know how to end it, so it was kind of rushed…haha oh well (:


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